The mothers role is to provide love, comfort, safety and emotional support. The mother wound is the outcome of having a mother who is there physically but lacks emotional support.
A child who doesn’t feel safe, seen or isn’t listened to, channels that as ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I have to earn my place in this world’, ‘I need to keep everyone around me happy so that I can be safe and loved’. As an adult this child becomes a people pleaser.
The ‘people pleaser’ is a fear based approach where we seek validation from others and self-neglect to ensure other people are happy and their needs are met, before and above our own.
As a people pleaser we struggle to set boundaries and say no to others, usually it’s subconsciously out of fear of this sense of keeping everyone happy so that we can be safe and happy as well as fear of being useless to someone then they won’t need us. Inability to set boundaries affects our work life balance and is often a result of burn out.
The mother wound can show up in many other ways too:
- Lack of self-esteem
- Difficulty with self-soothing (over reliance on others)
- Believing that love and happiness is out of your reach
- Distrust with your mother
- You’ve become the parent in your relationship with your mother (you provide the emotional support)
Our mother is our feminine, the divine feminine, the first feminine source of love we meet when we enter the world, and even from the womb. Our source of life. It’s sad that for so many of us we have the rug pulled from beneath us when we see the cracks and realise that our parents are also just humans, they make mistakes.
Get to the root of your ‘mother wound’, learn to set healthy boundaries and become your own parent.
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Healing The Mother Wound | Wild Flow Co 2024
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